![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jan 21 - 5 days before full moon in leo
Jan. 21st, 2024 01:47 pmhappy new year lol. we had family staying with us for most of december so honestly I didn't have many chances to actually do things. I guess I've kind of been in a slump. out of all the things, I've narrowed down that I'm really just hungry for tradition. I've been snowed in for the last week and I spent most of that time digging through christian theology trying to find something to hold onto. but at the end of the day, there's a reason I left the church. even as much as I miss having those traditions, I don't think I'll ever be truly a part of the church for those reasons.
so I guess I'm on my own! I can feel myself being pulled in two directions (that are not necessarily mutually exclusive). the first is digging into hellenic polytheism. I think my experiment with norse paganism was valuable and I learned a lot, including that it's not for me. my understanding of the gods is so rooted in a greco-roman pantheon, I just found it difficult to connect. I've been thinking for a while that my practice is basically just hellenism with more steps (and like tbh that's kind of a lot of modern paganism... like you can't deny the cultural impact of percy jackson and d'aulaires). like instead of trying to syncretise my way from Aphrodite to Frig I could just start with Aphrodite to begin with. I kinda have stayed away from helpol because it seemed too basic but hey we're trying to simplify, basic is a good place to be. not to mention there is a philosophical tradition that, while not necessarily living, is still pretty robust compared to what we've got for other times and places.
the other direction is to throw everything away and start at nothing. as an animist, I think that we all are divine, and therefore, I can meet the divine through myself. the moon, the sun, love, wisdom, all these things are divine because they're just as real as I am. they don't require names or mythologies to be worthy of praise. so basically I've been trying to get better at meditation and just enjoying the simple things.
religion is hard. I try not to spend too much time on it but I'm learning that it is something important to me. when I try to ignore it, it feels like something is missing. but it's also good to know that pretty much everyone in religious spaces struggles with this stuff.
miscellaneous updates: I'm still learning Cherokee, I really recommend language as a way to get in touch with the land and the people who live on it. I've learned so much beyond just the syllabary. I've been trying to celebrate the new moon but I've been out of town for at least the last 3. just today I remembered travel altars exist, so maybe I'll try to put one together. oh and Imbolc is soon! Brigid is so big for me so it's an important holiday but I don't even know if I'll have the spoons to do anything. I have a few days to contemplate though.
stay warm, stay safe
so I guess I'm on my own! I can feel myself being pulled in two directions (that are not necessarily mutually exclusive). the first is digging into hellenic polytheism. I think my experiment with norse paganism was valuable and I learned a lot, including that it's not for me. my understanding of the gods is so rooted in a greco-roman pantheon, I just found it difficult to connect. I've been thinking for a while that my practice is basically just hellenism with more steps (and like tbh that's kind of a lot of modern paganism... like you can't deny the cultural impact of percy jackson and d'aulaires). like instead of trying to syncretise my way from Aphrodite to Frig I could just start with Aphrodite to begin with. I kinda have stayed away from helpol because it seemed too basic but hey we're trying to simplify, basic is a good place to be. not to mention there is a philosophical tradition that, while not necessarily living, is still pretty robust compared to what we've got for other times and places.
the other direction is to throw everything away and start at nothing. as an animist, I think that we all are divine, and therefore, I can meet the divine through myself. the moon, the sun, love, wisdom, all these things are divine because they're just as real as I am. they don't require names or mythologies to be worthy of praise. so basically I've been trying to get better at meditation and just enjoying the simple things.
religion is hard. I try not to spend too much time on it but I'm learning that it is something important to me. when I try to ignore it, it feels like something is missing. but it's also good to know that pretty much everyone in religious spaces struggles with this stuff.
miscellaneous updates: I'm still learning Cherokee, I really recommend language as a way to get in touch with the land and the people who live on it. I've learned so much beyond just the syllabary. I've been trying to celebrate the new moon but I've been out of town for at least the last 3. just today I remembered travel altars exist, so maybe I'll try to put one together. oh and Imbolc is soon! Brigid is so big for me so it's an important holiday but I don't even know if I'll have the spoons to do anything. I have a few days to contemplate though.
stay warm, stay safe
